Who the hell is Colin Pearce anyway?
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Good question! It depends on who you ask. He can be a disorganised nitwit; an incurable romantic; a children’s book writer; an opinionated bastard; a family man; a journalist and a marketing man… just another bloke who’s ricocheting round life’s pinball machine not… Find out more...
Come 'ere, or you'll get one in the face!
Written: 23 February 2008
OVERHEARD along the street, in a tense conversation between a father and his five-year-old son: “Come here! Now, or you’ll get one in the face!” Clearly we are an advanced species. Happily, what with peak oil and climate change, we won’t be a species at all for too much longer, which will at least save a few young children from being punched in the face. Or am I worrying too much? He is, after all, an odious little turd (the five-year-old, that is) who may not be game to tell his father to eff off, but that doesn’t stop him…
Stepping on others for a glimpse of the sun
Written: 16 February 2008
I’m sorry. And if you think it’s an issue for a white Australian to be sorry — you should try being a Pom. A long time ago, when I first started thinking about Aboriginal history and the need for an apology I even thought: not much to do with me really, I didn’t get here until 1989. I overlooked the inconvenient fact that it was my lot that started it. Not only here, but in every continent on the planet with the exception of Antarctica, and that was only because they couldn’t find anything on it that was worth stealing…
Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Townsville
Written: 10 February 2008
I CAN’T help feeling a certain pride. Antisocial of me, I suppose, but I feel like one of Robin Hood’s merry men, cheating the Sherriff of Nottingham of his taxes. So the twin cities owe the government $10 million, do they? Or rather, we owe the government $10 million. You and me. Well, not me. I haven’t been fined for anything, so it’s you! You must feel a bit like Ned Kelly, and that can’t be bad. You and 160,000 other people. Come to think of, it’s unlikely that many five-year-olds have been caught speeding, or…
An alarm clock in every bottle
Written: 03 February 2008
DID you know they can grow grapes with alarm clocks in them? Or maybe they’ve found a way to make liquid clocks, which they mix them into the wine. So far, though, they have only perfected this technique with red grapes, or red wine, and they can only set the alarms for 3am. I know this because it is one of the universal laws of the nature that if you drink red wine you will wake up at 3am. I’ve stopped being amazed by this. I accept it as one of the cruel contradictions that fate mocks us…
